https://www.chathamstartribune.com/opinion/article_8d12f9b7-1617-4ebf-bd78-c79e628ddc78.html
Reflections on Life, Parenting and Community
You don’t have to run my race. I appreciate your wanting to help. But, your legs won’t hold up. You’re not strong enough to carry me and you. What about “He ain’t heavy. He’s my brother” and all of that? That’s not a thing. That’s a 60’s ballad. Sometimes your brother is heavy and if you’re not strong enough to meet that you’ll stumble while carrying his burden. Sometimes after having done all things possible, you just have to run your own race.
What does it mean to run your own race? Back in the day I was an avid runner. I took up running figuring to lose a few pounds. Actually when I first started, I was a pretty heavy smoker. Maybe not so much pretty as I was heavy. I’d get on a treadmill and run a mile. Get off to smoke. Get back on, run a mile, get back off.
Anyway, I liked running because well, basketball wasn’t for me. (I’m a little short on tall). Running though, I could do. All I needed was time and no talent. It was personal. I set my own goals at my own pace without comparing myself to anyone. I never came in last but it wasn’t about the win no how. It was to finish as best that I could. I talked with people who’d been around the sport for a while. They’d tell me how to train and what to eat. Course all of these were just suggestions and I tried and failed many times. Wasn’t always the right thing or what I needed but I did what I could, found what worked and stuck with it. So I ran…every day.
What started as a way to lose a few pounds became a passion and before long everywhere I went…I was runningaa… (Think Forrest Gump)
I believe in terms of the race that is this life, some of these same principles hold true. Still it seems we never lack in the number of people who want their hand in it. People who want to tell us how to act and what to say. People who want to tell us what to watch or not on TV. We’ve got people today who want to tell us who to love and how to love them. This has got to be the only country in the world where any chosen group of citizens believe that it is they who dictate to the rest who to like and who to hate. Yet not a one of those people are lacing up your shoes.
I have always held to the opinion that unless you are shucking off cabbage to pay the bills around my place, you have no say in what goes on there. I believe that it is just easier for people to help others with their problems than it is to look at their own. Or as my grandfather used to say, “If your backyard is a mess, don’t come fooling around in mine.”
My experience tells me that while I may be able to offer help and encouragement, I am no one’s savior. Neither are you. Now, if you’re wondering why I’d say that it’s because I’ve seen it happen too many times. I believe that there are some well-meaning folks in our lives that are so guilt-ridden the consequences of their choices that rather than squaring away their own mess, they compensate for it by intruding upon the lives of other people. All in an effort at keeping them from making the same mistakes that they did. It’s in these moments that they “lose” the folks that they are so desperately trying to “save”. The big deal in that is that they have become so invested in “helping” that when they have hit a wall they end up getting lost themselves. Thusly, they come to dump their misery on those around them.
One of my favorite passages from the Bible is written by the apostle Paul and is found in 1 Thessalonians. Seems more than relevant for today. It says: “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 12 Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.”
If we’ll aspire to three principles in our lives, it will be all that we can do to run our own race. The first is not to draw a lot of unnecessary attention to yourself. Too much can be troublesome. It’s one thing to be loud. Quite another to be considered a loud mouth. Next, mind your own business. Not many people that I know care for someone butting in. If you’re asked your opinion then by all means, give it. Otherwise you’ll find little trouble if you just keep it to yourself. Lastly, support yourself. Stay off the coat tails of another.
People with a good name realize that a good name does not relieve us of the practical responsibilities of life. We should remember that someone is watching us, not that we need their approval but we should use that as a catalyst for us to run the best race that we can.
If you are doing your best to be your best every day, I’d like to not only congratulate you but thank you for you belong to an exclusive club. But be careful that you only carry what you can.
Believe it or not, this world needs more people like you. Busy-bodies are a dime a dozen. Sadly they seldom know that it’s them. But people like you…they’re worth a fortune.
So you just keep doing it. Carry only what you can. You are impacting more lives by your example than you will ever know.
Butch Robinson is the Pastor of Christian Fellowship Church, located at 135 Winstead Drive in Danville, Va. He and his wife, Diane, have been married for 38 years and have a daughter, Hayley, 24, and son, Patrick, is 19. The family reside in Danville.
